Profile: Emerson, Jennifer

Name: Jennifer Lynn Emerson

High School:  Naperville North High School, Naperville, Illinois, 1994
College:  Franklin and Marshall College, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Where the "Place" link goes:  DuPage County, Illinois

Mademoiselle Emerson is one of the two people who most probably should have killed me based on things I did in high school. (The other one is Theresa.) Fortunately, she hasn't, and I'm going to try real hard not to give her any more reason to. An unfortunate freak of nature in the District 203 computer gave her an ID number of 3297 at Naperville North. This happens to be a factor of my ID number (26376), which is one motivating factor (along with the fact that she was in two of my classes fall semester sophomore year) as to why she received more than her fair share of annoyances from me. I stole her sophomore English writing folder and took it to Iowa for ARML '92. (I had taken mine as well, and had arranged them in the drawer beforehand such that mine was in front of hers, feigning accidental pilfering (i.e., I claimed that I had only meant to grab mine but got the one behind it, too.)) This is not a nice thing to do. The semester before that I borrowed her Health notes. True, I was absent so I had to borrow someone's notes, but I could have more easily borrowed those of SAFE guru Ryan Hughes. I intentionally borrowed hers because she had passed on reading something aloud the week before, and I wanted to know what she had written. (Yes, I still remember what it said, and no, I'm not going to tell you here.) Again, this was not nice of me. Two semesters later, I had her peer-critique a paper I wrote. (This next part was unintentional.) In the paper I talked about some useless information I can't seem to fail to know, things like "Tampons are not taxable in New Jersey" which I really have no use for. One of the things I mentioned was her ID number, completely forgetting that she didn't know I knew it. She was very diplomatic about it, not even telling me what I had done (I found out a few days later from Jeff Bolas). That is the most unpleasant thing I did to her. I did still do a few constructive things with Jennie. We were in the same American Government class, and we had two joint projects: one on the legal issues surrounding race and sex discrimination, and the other attempting to reelect Senator Joseph Biden (D-DE). (It was either him or one of my three least-favorite Senators, Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA).) I actually know her middle name because of that election project; I read it off a prescription bottle while I was in her house. Still, despite all the mean and nasty things I did to her (none of which I intended, of course, at the time to be mean and nasty), she hasn't killed me yet. In fact, I hear from her every so often, and she is still a very nice and worthwhile person. (And in my NHL '96 game (before it reset itself), she was quite probably the greatest player ever to put on a Hartford Whalers uniform. But that's not important right now.)

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