Stuff I've Done

Stuff I Haven't

It is my personal feeling that anyone who would hire me based on something they read on a computer is probably not the type of person I want to be working for in the first place. If you really want to see a resumé, go ahead and read resume.html. If you really want to hire someone by a WWW resumé, select someone from this list: These people really want to be hired, I guess. Note: The above resumé links are provided as a service to my accessers as well as to the owners of the resumé files. Jason Elliot Benda's Home Page makes NO endorsement of these resumés, nor does said Home Page offer recommendations as to whether these people should or should not be hired. As for me, I give you this:

Someone once said that you can tell as much about a person by what he hasn't done as by what he has done. Of course, people also have said that talking pictures would never succeed, that Michael Bolton is a good singer, and that sex is a form of entertainment. At any rate, in the spirit of the first statement above, I present a list of things I either have done or have not done. I make no effort to distinguish between the two; that's probably not what the person who made the statement had in mind, but it's more fun this way. Besides, would you admit publicly to everything you've ever done? I think not, and neither shall I, so don't even ask which are which.

I have or have not:
  1. slept in Townsend Hall
  2. slept in Wardall Hall
  3. slept in Blaisdell Hall
  4. slept in Irion Hall
  5. slept in Stanger Hall
  6. slept in Trelease Hall
  7. slept in Daniels Hall
  8. slept in Lehmann Hall
  9. had sex with a woman
  10. had sex with a man
  11. had sex with a house plant
  12. had sex in a car
  13. had sex in a moving car
  14. had sex while driving a moving car
  15. had sex while driving a moving car on an interstate highway
  16. masturbated in a car
  17. masturbated in a moving car
  18. masturbated while driving a moving car
  19. masturbated while driving a moving car on an interstate highway
  20. taken CHEM_ 109
  21. passed CHEM_ 109
  22. taken PHYCS 140
  23. passed PHYCS 140
  24. travelled on a train
  25. travelled on a train at 3:00 in the morning
  26. travelled on an airplane
  27. travelled on an airplane at 3:00 in the morning
  28. worked a full-time job
  29. worked a part-time job
  30. worked a cash-basis job
  31. worked first shift
  32. worked second shift
  33. worked third shift
  34. purchased sexually explicit media
  35. purchased contraceptives
  36. purchased analgesics
  37. purchased feminine hygiene products
  38. purchased a lawnmower
  39. purchased a chainsaw
  40. purchased a case of VivaĻ paper towels
  41. purchased tennis balls
  42. purchased golf balls
  43. purchased softballs
  44. purchased ping-pong balls
  45. purchased pool balls
  46. purchased pétanque (or bocce) balls
  47. played a sport competitively
  48. attended an Ameican League baseball game
  49. attended a National Football League game
  50. attended a National Hockey League game
  51. attended a National Basketball Association game
  52. attended a National League baseball game
  53. attended a NCAA Division I men's basketball game
  54. attended a NCAA Division II men's basketball game
  55. attended a NCAA Division III men's basketball game
  56. attended a NCAA Division I football game
  57. attended a NCAA Division II football game
  58. attended a NCAA Division III football game
  59. attended a NCAA Division I baseball game
  60. attended a NCAA Division II baseball game
  61. attended a NCAA Division III baseball game
  62. fallen off a roof
  63. fallen into a quarry
  64. fallen out of a tree
  65. suffered a fractured radius
  66. suffered a fractured femur
  67. suffered a fractured fibula
  68. suffered a fractured ulna
  69. suffered a fractured humerus
  70. suffered a fractured tibia
  71. suffered a fractured patella
  72. suffered a fractured cranium
  73. visited Minnesota
  74. visited Washington
  75. visited Missouri
  76. visited the District of Columbia
  77. visited Maryland
  78. visited California
  79. visited Michigan
  80. visited British Columbia
  81. visited Maine
  82. visited Georgia
  83. visited Montana
  84. visited New York
  85. visited Massachusetts
  86. visited Pennsylvania
  87. visited Mississippi
  88. visited New Jersey
  89. visited Manitoba
  90. visited Québec
  91. won a spelling bee
  92. watched Sleepless in Seattle
  93. fallen asleep within the Seattle city limits
  94. had lunch with my sister
  95. met an incumbent Illinois governor
  96. met an incumbent Louisiana governor
  97. met an incumbent Nebraska governor
  98. caught a fish
  99. shot a duck
  100. shot a goose
  101. shot a pheasant
  102. shot a deer
  103. voted in an election for President
  104. voted in an election for Governor
  105. voted in an election for State Fish
There. That should give you all a nice, clear picture of me. (Or not.)
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